Friday, March 16, 2012

It's Giveaway Time!!!

Blog Hop Party with Give-Aways

Thank you to the Quilting Gallery for hosting the Quilter's Blog Hop Party!  Somehow they were reading my mind and knew that I had something to give away and thought they'd help direct some traffic this way.  :-)

If you've never visited before, welcome!  I'm Kristen (Ten for short, hence the name of the blog), and I am a wife (as of January), mother, stepmother, full-time data analyst, volunteer Court Appointed Special Advocate, quilt guild member, pet owner, and, since last year, blogger.  I have been quilting for over twenty years and really NEED that time to sew in order to keep my sanity.  I have quotation hanging in my sewing room which reads, "I cannot count my day complete/til needle, thread and fabric meet" and it is very true ... I feel like I missed out on an important element of my day if I have done no sewing whatsoever.

Here is a small collage (thanks to Picasa and the instructions at Skip to My Lou) of some of the projects I've featured here since I began the blog.


Now, about the giveaway!  Here's the thing:  my Honey is the most supportive husband a quilter could ever have.  He does not ever seem to think that I already have enough fabric, and every Christmas he buys me more!  This past year, he bought me half yard cuts of a number of fabrics from Kate Spain's Terrain line; the line was on my wish list but I was (of course) thinking precuts.  I couldn't think about what to do with them, so I bought some charm packs to supplement, and then a layer cake of her Good Fortune line, and then I ended up making a quilt top almost entirely of what I'd bought to supplement his gift and cut only small bits of a few of his fabrics!  Oops! So I feel compelled to share the wealth.

I am giving away seven fat quarters (is that a baker's half dozen?) of Terrain, and the classic M'Liss Rae Hawley book, "Fat Quarter Quilts."

Most of the quilts in the book start with six coordinating fat quarters and I've thrown in a seventh for some variety. 
To enter, I'm not going to require to be a follower or anything, just be sure that you have a valid email address either as part of your Blogger profile or in the body of your comment.  I will try to reply to every comment before the giveaway closes on Friday, March 23, although it may take me a few days.  However, it occurred to me yesterday that this year all three of our children will be in double digits this summer, I'm panicking a little bit.  So I'm asking for advice:  what is the MOST IMPORTANT THING to remember when dealing with teenage or pre-teen kids?  Even if you don't have kids or yours aren't that old yet, you were surely a teenager once yourself and have some words of wisdom!  Please leave a comment with your answer for a chance to win!  And remember - followers who comment before midnight tonight (Friday, March 16) automatically get a second entry ... no second comment needed.

Thanks for visiting and good luck - I'm looking forward to reading the comments!

231 comments:

  1. don't give them a bedroom from which they can climb out. they will. =) even if you have to stack them all in that ONE bedroom way in the back... they all sleep in there. no climbing!! (although my s-i-l had a bedroom from which she could climb to a very high garage roof - too high to get down from, so she'd sit up there and talk to her boyfriends down on the ground. that's fine in my book - no contact=safe)

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  2. I'm already a follower, but your question is tough! my kids are 7 and 9 and ME, well I was told by my mom that I was a good teenager!
    I will say one thing, that if you say NO, stick with it.... and don't let the kids double trick the parents.... I DID do that only ONCE!! I had saved up my allowance and wanted these purple roller skates on sale at a store, close enough to ride my bike there and buy them, so I asked my mom, she said well I don't know, go ask your dad, so I went to my dad and he asked me what my mom said and I lied and said YES! so okay... I ran off on my bike, bought the roller skates and when I got home they had TALKED and I had to hand over the roller skates, and was grounded.... I think I got a spanking too, which I NEVER did, I think this was the only time ever..... so I never tricked my parents again!- they were nice skates though. SIGH!!

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  3. I fear the teenage years.. I can just tell that my 4 year old is going to be trouble!

    I suppose the only advice I can offer is to remember that teenagers are inherently self absorbed, and completely irrational. Stand your ground, and when they're "old enough" they will respect you for caring enough to make sure they were safe even though they probably hated you at the time. I constantly apologise to my mother for the things I put her through as a teenager!

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  4. Well, I don't have children and it's a long long time since I was a teenager LOL, but I think the advice I would give is don't treat them as children, treat them as adults (older teens anyway) then hopefully they will behave like adults. I am already one of your followers.

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  5. Remember your own teenage years! I don't think today's teenagers are really much different to how we were as teenagers!

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  6. When they turn in to teens, you lose all sense by their standards. That changes once they reach 30. If you make rules, stick to them no matter what! Give them respect by listening but demand respect too - you are the parent not their friend!

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  7. Ohhhh - been there and going back again! My best tip is to give your teen their own space - they aren't really ignoring you (OK - maybe they are, but not maliciously). They are just trying to decide who they are as an individual.

    Thanks for the great giveaway!! Love the fabrics and the book!!!

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  8. Remember that teenagers A) WILL grow out of it (eventually), and B) yelling back and forth does nothing but make everyone angry and exhausted. Take a break and come back if you see a back and forth match coming!

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  9. Found your fun blog through Sew Many Ways. Great teen advice above. And don't take any moodiness personally. It does pass. And then comes back. And then it passes! Moody little buggers.

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  10. Thanks for this giveaway...I do follow. Teens or pre teens: just remember that you are their mother; not their besdt friend. It's nice to be a friend, but they need their mother's structure. My 3 sons are all grown now and have sons of their own...it all starts over again....lol

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  11. 1.Hope you did a good job teaching boundaries and consequences in the first 5 years. 2.Remember you are still the parent and don't try to be the best friend.( that is so hard to watch)3. Always be honest about reality of life. 4. PRAY CONSTANTLY!

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  12. Found you through Karen @ Sew Many Ways! My advice is to be a strong parent and be very involved with them without being one of their friends. They still need role models whether they realize it or not. Thank you for this giveaway!

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  13. What a great blog to find on thi blog hop! My advice - they never eally grow up - mine are 28 and 25 and I still worry about them but hope I have been a good role model and set boundaries which help them make descisions.

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  14. listen to them! be truthful and expect them to be truthful. let them widen their horizons but set limits according to their age and abilities. my greatgrandkids are very young teenagers and their world is so different from their parents and grandparents and mine. our kids know more, do more then we did, but today's morality and education is so much less, if you know what i mean.
    i, too, am a follower :) rgoshorn@ak.net

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  15. I'm already a follower, my kids are only 7 and 4 but I think perhaps you have to give them their space but let them know your there for them and you were young too once :O) but not let it get out of control

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  16. Fortunately my sons are all past the teenage years (the youngest is 22) but not that long ago that I don't remember them. The best advice I can give is to remember that underneath all the angst and anger they are still the same adorable children they once were, it is just hidden deeper!

    There is light at the end of the tunnel, honest!

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  17. I'm already a follower :) My kids are turning 9 & 11, but my oldest has been acting like a teenager for a few years now (she's an early bloomer lol) The most important thing to remember when raising teenagers is that no matter how inane, unimportant, or silly it might seem to you...it IS the end of the world in their eyes. The best you can do is listen, sympathize, and try to be supportive & understanding, even when it's driving you nuts inside or you are angry or disappointed. In ten years, they'll be settled down, mature, and your sweet child again, you just have to survive these years.

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  18. Hi...my son not reach the teenage age but I can give you some advice based on my experience on my teenage sister. Well, I got to say you should be calm and firm. Listen. Keep your eyes and ears open. And when you think something's going on, check it out before it's too late.

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  19. I found you from Sew Many Ways FAFF. I love this post not just for the giveaway (kudos for hosting one) but for the question.
    I attended parent's night at my daughter's school when she was in middle school. She's in college now so it's a bit fuzzy but I'll remember as best as I can. The teacher studied the developing adolescent brain on the side because that's who he'd been teaching for decades. It turns out that a lot of pre-teen to teenage behavior is explained by the brain maturing. I could see what he was saying because my daughter matured young and was very tall, she was about a year ahead of an average child. He mentioned that at one point about 6th-7th grade they are unable to organize or prioritize at all! It's because that part of the brain is changing into an adult brain. It had already happened to her and it made me feel a bit guilty because laziness was not the reason behind her falling grades. It's a fascinating subject and every parent should be told about it. It helps get through those tough times because you know your teenager isn't just being contrary but just growing up and sometimes can't help what they do. It all works out in the end. She's now an honors student at her college :oD

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  20. The most important thing I had to remember is that they are growing up. They aren't little babies anymore. They need to be able to make their own decisions and mistakes now. Just be there to support them afterwards, and "I told you so" is not a good thing to say, LOL.

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  21. Well, I have gotten five kids through the teenage years and into adulthood. At one time I had 4 teenagers. Mine were never too bad, just mouthy at times. I kept thinking 'This too shall pass.' It did. Now I miss all the noise and drama. I think sticking to what you say is good advice. Kids don't do well with wishy washy rules. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Great giveaway.

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  22. I'm a follower :) Teenagers are just mini adults and older kids. Which means they need repect and need their opinions listened to and they need support. Treat them like you would want to be treated and try not to belittle their interest and wants. Teenagers WILL screw up, so be there for support. This is when they need you most (even though they want you the least!). And I believe teenagers are too old to be spanked! Think of creative consequences that are more geared to real life situations. But, most of all, buckle up! It's going to be a wild ride :)

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  23. Hi Kristen! I love anything Kate Spain, so winning the fabric would be fantastic!!!

    As for advice, I'll tell you what I told my daughter just last week when she was dealing with her 13-year-old.... Do not take anything she says personally until she is at least 20! The teen years are all about drama, and they need for you to be solid as a rock until they are able to be there themselves. You are the parent, not their *friend* - they have plenty of those, and only one parent. Let them get mad at you, they'll get over it and thank you for it someday! Ok - I'll quit now... wishing you all the best with your teens!!! =^..^=

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  24. I have always lived by "pick your battles and don't sweat the small stuff" pre teens and teenagers are the same as toddlers just different drama on a different day.

    Robin in Washington State
    assweetaspeaches hotmail

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  25. The first thing that came into my head was, "pick your battles" and I see Robin above me said the same thing. So I will also add: LOVE them and don't forget to breathe! Thanks for the chance to win.

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  26. Teen's are trouble lol. Just hope they age out of it. I am in serious trouble this year wife is going to have a baby in a couple weeks and on top of every thing My 16 year old is failing classes for the first time. ACK! oh and my 13 year old thinks every one hates her. I remember this time as a kid nothing ever is what you want. Sigh.

    http://richardquilts.blogspot.com
    http:// my1pictureaday.blogspot.com/

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  27. My husband, who has worked with special needs children in the past, suggests that the most important things to remember are that their brains aren't done growing yet, so don't take their actions personally.

    I say, remember that it's illegal to kill them. ;) Just kidding!

    Thank you for offering up a great prize - good luck everyone!

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  28. I don't have lids but I remember blowing things way out of proportion when I was one!

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  29. What a thoughtful gift from your husband!! I have received a couple of those 'close but not quite' gifts, too. Good of you to share with us! Teenagers, wow, my oldest is only 6, but from what I remember of my teenage years: give them space. Make them want to share with you/talk to you, but don't try to force it!

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  30. Be conisent. They get very good at manipulation. Knowing were you stand on issues before they happen will be a big help.

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  31. When my daughter (she is an only child) was a teenager, she would sometimes complain about having to do things "as a family." I did think some things were important so after some ugly events (and really, there is no fun to be had with a teen who does not want to do something) I sat her down and made an agreement. I wouldn't make her always go with us, but when I did, she had to be decent. It worked really great!

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  32. I have five children, the eldest 21 and then 18, 13, 9 and 6. So quite a bit of teen and pre-teen experience. My best advice is to not sweat the little stuff. You don't need to win every battle - let them win some to feel empowered and keep your victories for the big issues. Cause there will be battles - you can count on it. Cheers, Karen

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  33. Thanks for the chance to win and best regards from Germany!
    And about the teenagers... what should I say, I'm hardly older then they are... and really, you can't avoid some things. They will just happen. if you want it or not. Sometimes it's best to just let go.

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  34. Put your nose in their business and keep it there. You have to know what they are into all the time so you can guide them in the right way. Thanks for the chance.

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  35. Oh dear... sorry I'm not able to advise you on this one... babies? anything you want but not teens yet!
    thanks for the chance!

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  36. Hmmm, from what I remember as a teen, I didn't like to be lectured or told that I really don't "know" anything, when of course teens think they do. Best to just offer advice but not in a condescending way. Or offer a conversational tone, ask questions or let them ask questions, because you may not know all the answers, but maybe you can find them together :)

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  37. Listen to what they are saying, even if you don't always like the way they are saying it; postpone any anger until you have time to think things through....this is the worst time to utter words you wish you could get back.....they never forget anything at this age.

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  38. Great giveaway! We've had 5 teenagers. Patience and firm rules. They get normal again at 23. Thanks for a chance.

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  39. Love Kate Spain fabric - thanks for the chance. I'm surviving the teenage years - 15, 17 and 19. Have to say listen to what they say - trust them but also don't trust to much. Remember how you were as a teenager and try to stay one step ahead. They will stretch your limits and their boundaries - they're teenagers!

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  40. The most important thing is that they know you are there to listen to them and love them. When it is all over those are the things they remember

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  41. I have an 18 & 22 year old boys. Best advice is let them know daily you love them even if they act as it is an annoyance (BOYS!!) and choose your battles wisely. Some of the little things should remain the little things. Thanks for the chance...and love those kids!!!

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  42. Hello Kristen,

    You just have to love them no matter what they do. Love makes the world go around. Happy Saint Patrick's day to you. Good luck.

    Happy days.
    Bev.xoxo

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  43. The only advice I have is remember to take a deep breath and count to 10 before you fly off the handle. Not saying you won't still want to kill them (I raised 3 who are now in their late 30s & early 40s and beginning to have their own teenagers) but it does get better. As someone else stated, choose your battles and concentrate on the ones that will make the most difference in the future. Keep an eye on them (although don't make it obvious all the time) and always keep them close in your heart. They will outgrow their teen years and if you are very lucky (and I'm sure you will be) they will grow into adults you feel blessed to know.

    Good Luck - this too will pass! LOL

    karen (just added you to my google reader subscriptions)

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  44. I am so in for it when my three year old hits the teenage years, she is a strong willed little girl. My advice is to listen when they talk.

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  45. My stepdaughter is 15, and I think it's important to remember to be friendly, but not be their friend. You need to be their parent, and if you are their friend, they won't think they need to follow the rules. I hope that makes sense!

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  46. I only have an 19 month old baby so ... no motherly advice but as someone who was only a teenager 11 years ago : ( ... when did that happen - I am sure I'm not that old... maybe I have no relevant memories of the life of a teen since it has been so long, sorry.

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  47. Just love your children and be with them as much as you can. That´s all I can say!
    Gun, Sweden

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  48. Don't tell them they CAN'T hang around with this person or that as that person will be the first person they contact as soon as they are out of your sight.

    Thanks for the chance to win.

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  49. My daughter's 22 so what I'd say is stay involved and current with their life, talk one-on-one on a daily basis, listen, really listen to them. Know where they are at all times.

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  50. I have two teenagers and there are 'moments' but I find that if they are treated respectfully, they respond likewise!! Good luck! ps I love Terrain, I mean seriously love it!!

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  51. My two girls are now 25 and 30, but this one thing I remember... I never died of a messy room! And I was too busy with living life with them (Breast Cancer when they were 8 and 13) to "sweat the small stuff". Today they are both neater then I - I started quilting 2 years ago - need I say more????? :) :) :)

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  52. My advise is to remember that this too shall pass! Thanks for a chance to win.

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  53. Love them - no matter what.
    Thanks for a chance - terrain is just beautiful!

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  54. My kids are still very little but thinking back to when I was a teen and even thinking about what my little kids want now, I would say "listen"; no matter the age, I think everyone wants to "be heard" and know that someone is trying to understand them. I won't get the chance to try this out on teens for a number of years, so we'll see ;>) Thanks for chance to win the giveaway! (marshudson at comcast dot net)

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  55. Dealing with teenagers at this time too. They flip flop so easily (PMS?!?), but love them the way they are. And step back if they are having a bad day, just leave it with the basic of things that need to be said to them, till they have a chance to blow some steam themselves. The more mad you get at them, the lesser they will answer your questions. Thanks for the giveaway.

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  56. I'd say (not having teenagers, but having been one not so long ago) that to have an open, communicative (is that a word?) relationship with them. Don't make them think that what they think doesn't matter--let them tell you their dreams and thoughts etc without making them feel stupid.

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  57. Don't sweat the small stuff. Pick your battles. This was a hard one for my husband. He and my youngest had some real battles over things that really in the grand scheme of things were of little importance. But she turned out ok so I guess it was all good.Talk to them, alot, whether they really want to or not. Listen....alot. You will pick up stuff that they want you to know but really don't want to come right out and say. You have to be able to read between the lines sort of. Good luck. By the way, I love this fabric line. It is on my wish list also.

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  58. I would tell you to support them (as you probably all ready do!) join them and have their friends around you so you know who they are. Respect them for who they are but still be a parent, not a older friend.

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  59. Keep the lines of communication open at all times. I think that cuts off a lot of problems before they even get started. Thanks for the giveaway...love that Kate Spain!

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  60. Lots of good advice. One thing we stressed was things like driver's permitsa, extra curricular activities, computers are a privelage not a right. For us grades needed to be kept at B's or better as school was their "job". Thanks for your giveaway.

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  61. The MOST important thing to remember is "This too will pass". As a court appointed advocate I am sure you know that the foundation is laid when kids are under ten. When they get into their teens they try out all kinds of nerve racking behaviour but if the foundation is there they will grow past it. Wonderful giveaway!

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  62. Love your give away, thanks so much, would be awesome to win.
    Listen to your teenagers, but still maintain the rules. Sometimes they just want to be heard.

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  63. Thanks for the great giveaway. I don't have kids, but staying calm no matter how provoked you get has to be important. It works with adults too.

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  64. My best advice about teens is that they will eventually no longer be teens. So just take a deep breath and enjoy this stage too. I am sure there are some things to enjoy about this age.

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  65. Eu tenho três filhas de 29,27que me deu netos,menina chega em abril,e26 que está noiva.Eu sempre fui amiga.Mas não amiguinha.Dava linha,mas não perdia a pipa.Sempre ouvi mais do que falei,e quando falo é sem crítica,dou a elas o que pensar.E é equilibrado por que o pai é o pãe.Uma pincelada rápida é isso.No mais é fácil nos usarmos como parâmetro:O que foi bom e proveitoso para nós pode.O que não...fala por si só.Beijos e Bençãos.Maria do Carmo Pezzuto.----tiacarminhapezzuto@gmail.com-----BRASIL.

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  66. Both of mine are past this stage - I think the most important thing is to be a listener and make them feel they can always talk to you and trust you in that you will not repeat what is told to you! Keep you eyes and ears open!!

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  67. Aack teenagers! My advice would be not to try to prevent them from making mistakes, because they will make them anyway and it's better if they don't feel they have to keep them secret.

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  68. OH MY.... I'm glad mine are past that age. lol
    patience and pick your battles carefully. You'll be fine.

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  69. Love them, no matter what they do. And listen to them, it really isn't easy to be teenager.

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  70. Keep talking and listening to them, be sure you know what is important for them, and guide them while they are exploring!
    Loveley give away you have, thanks for the opportunity! Always such fun the blog hop give away parties!

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  71. Just because their friends all seem to have Facebook and cell phones and xboxes and this that and the other thing doesn't mean you're obligated to buy them all for your own kids. That seems to be my soapbox of the moment. :-)

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  72. Validate, validate, and validate some more! Emotions are all over the place, and teens need their feelings validated. Sometimes I want to laugh or roll my eyes at my daughter, but to her, she is being very sincere...so I always validate her with words like, "That is very upsetting to think about...." or " I can see how you feel that way..." or " I would feel the same way...." and mean it by lots of eye contact. Stop what you are doing and listen and validate.

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  73. I only have one in double digits and she's just 10. I think the biggest thing is just letting them know that their feelings are important and that you understand how they feel. One of the biggest things for my daughter is when I can tell her how something was similar to what I went through as a child her age.

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  74. Oh my, I am hitting the teen years with my kids at the mo and what I have learnt so far...boundaries and stick to them, consistency and listen to what they have to say especially boys as they often dont talk much when they hit teen years!

    And remember, they will not be the only kid in the world who is not allowed to do something when you say no, you are not the meanest mother in the world and everyone else is not allowed to stay out til 3am!!! I have great relationships with my teens and it hasn't always been an easy road....some days I just wanted to adopt them out. However, it is a stage that will pass and sometimes you just have to go have a glass of wine and chill when they are driving you demented!!

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  75. No matter how mean, unfair, despising, borderline our behaviour is we love our parents at the end of the day. And if we don't offer information leave us be. (I'm writing that in the we style on purpose, that time isn't that long ago and I just had to "listen" to my mum the other weekend telling me how awful I was a few years ago, and that even though I was on the way to get well if I could please change some more I wonder if I will ever "grow up" (well growing up as defined by mum)... so I'm still fighting on that front)

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  76. While my kids are still little I think the most important thing is don't assume anything.

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  77. I have 4 girls myself, 2 of whom are teenagers; I think the thing to do is remember what you were like at their age; well they are gonna have all that angst and more as in the internet age all their friends know everything instantly! Just remember all things pass!
    Best Wishes from England and thanks for the chance to win!

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  78. To me it seems like the time after my son finished elementary school passed so quickly! They'll be grown before you know it. A good thing to remember so that you savor the good times and to help you get through the bad!

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  79. Major on the major things. Love them and pray for them. Thanks for the giveaway!

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  80. My kids are both in their teens 18 and 13. I think its best to pick your battles. Think about what is really important to you and focus on that. My daughter is very dark and emo...she looks like a Tim Burton character. However, she has never been in trouble, she is always covered up, and she is an "A" student. The truth is I don't care what color her hair is or how dark her make-up is...or what emo band she likes. Those things will change and fade away...but good grades and staying out of trouble are very important to me.

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  81. Geeez, Ten! I think the most important characteristic of a teen's Mom is to be a really good listener! Often kids slip all of the serious stuff in-between seemingly inane comments. My 'children' are all grown-ups, but we all seem to agree that Junior High was the WORST period of our lives - SO hard. Just keep loving them buckets and buckets and buckets!

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  82. I love Terrain and just purchased 2 charm packs last Saturday. We somehow survived the teen years of both of our boys. We were better with our second son. We remembered how difficult it was to be a teen. I listened when he wanted to talk and verbalized options when he was seeking advice. Lots of prayer helps too! Happy Quilting Day!

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  83. I'm a follower, but am a day late and of course a dollar short:)

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  84. You are quite the avid lady. Ie and would die for 7 fat quarters of Terrain. I just love the pattern Good Fortune and would so love to make it. I really really love this fabric. God I almost sound like a fabricholic. It is snowing here in Sonora,CA. I could be making Good Fotune. I have the pattern downloaded - just need fabric and then I had a reason to quilt.
    I am enjoying the Blog Hop Party and enjoy your blog so much.

    Sandi T.
    sandit1@sbcglobal.net

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  85. The most important advice re: teens is to keep reminding yourself that it's just another stage of growing up that we all go through.
    Thanks for the chance at that lovely fabric!
    ~Terry~

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  86. Just remember that it is never as bad as it seems... and one day you will laugh :)

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  87. Always be honest, consistent, and let them know that you love them no matter what and that they will alway have someone to talk to.

    Thanks for the chance to win.

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  88. Just breathe. Be honest...and try to hear what they are really saying, not just what comes out of their mouths.

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  89. Make sure you actual have eye contact and they see you and hear you before you bother to tell them anything.....grin.

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  90. I think it's important to actually listen to them. They have opinions but are struggling to be accepted into the adult world.
    They want to be part of the adult conversations. Sometimes it can be hard but they will feel important and loved if you take the time to listen. Thanks for the chance to win your giveaway.
    Happy St. Patrick's Day.

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  91. make sure your doors are squeaky! There was no possible way we could sneak anywhere! Our doors were SO LOUD! And somehow - get your kids to talk to you but keep their respect. I have 8 years left to figure this out...so if you figure it out be sure to share! Thanks so much for the fabulous giveaway! :)

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  92. Teenagers need to have responsibilities. I swear the next generation is going to run amok because they never had to take out the garbage! The teen should be involved in deciding what the responsibilites are and help decide the consequences if they don't assume their responsibilites. Amen!

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  93. I think the most important thing is to pick your battles. Take a stand on the major issues, but things like disliking a food or getting a weird haircut or color (they grow out) you can let go by.

    And don't worry, when they hit their 20's they become reasonable human beings again...

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  94. Just remember: their brains aren't finished developing yet. They are trying out new logical skills and abstract thought and testing these abilities. Some researchers suggest this is also a sort of "sensitive period" for emotional development. That means teens seek out highly emotional events and contexts to give them "rich" experiences, and all these experiences tell their brains what neurological pathways are most necessary and most needful to "keep". So when your teen is arguing or being very emotional, just remember... their brains are being rewired!

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  95. My advice is to always keep the lines of communication open.

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  96. My advice? Don't pressure them to do something they don't want to do. And thanks for the giveaway!

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  97. Thanks for the giveaway. I don't have kids but I was a teen not that long ago. My parents never gave me anything to rebel against. I never felt that any topic was unable to be talked about. They let me be who I wanted to be and it gave me self respect and a certain responsibility for myself. If that makes any sense lol

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  98. My advice would be to teach them to respect people and to treat others as they would like to be treated. Also - don't sweat the small stuff - pick your battles! :) Lastly, if you screw up, apologize to them. Thanks for the giveaway! It's lovely!

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  99. The best thing you can do is keep saying to yourself..."this to will pass" "this to will pass" this to will pass" then one day you will wake up and it will be over and they will be off to school away from home and handeling it quite well. Thanks for the chance to win.

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  100. Fabulous giveaway, thank you. I can't believe it, but the comment just above mine says exactly what I was going to say! Remind yourself that "This too shall pass". But enjoy it also! If you handle it well, they will be wonderful, productive adults someday.

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  101. Just be patience and talk about everything.
    Thanks for the giveaway!

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  102. Hi there, I have just become a mother of a teenager. My son was always perfectly behaved. He started Year 7 (High School here) and now has started to test his mother. :-)
    The best advise, DON'T KILL THEM, LOL, really just try to listen, understand as best you can, it must be so hard to grow up these days with the way the world is.
    As long as they have respect for their elders and good manners, I think we have done a good job.
    Hugs and good luck,

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  103. Well.... love, and lots of it!!! That's the most important thing, that together with the knowledge that they will get through the difficult times, and just maybe you will too!! Seriously though, tread softly and think twice before you leap up and down. Most things you can laugh about next week. Thanks for sharing your wonderful booty.
    Cheers
    Gloria

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  104. I guess I would say, you can raise them all right and exactly the same and they will all turn out completely different! My oldest as a child was so sweet and charming and everyone loved him then puberty hit and he was either screaming at everyone or crying his eyes out or threatening to kill everyone. Thank goodness the madness ended when he was 19.. oh wait, he just moved out but I'm sure he's not that way now at 26. :) Our daughter, who just turned 21 was the easiest. She is a reader so if things got to be to much she would just go in her room and read. All of her emotional outbursts were caused by the foolishness of her brothers. Our youngest just turned 19 and he is so much of a computer geek that even though he likes girls, he would rather be home messing with his computer or playing a game than out running around trying to impregnate anyone (thank heavens!). I don't know how much this helped but just remember they are each individuals and all you can do is love them and try to steer them away from the worst choices.

    Thanks for a chance to win some Kate! :)

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  105. Always keep lines of communication open. Always listen and respect them. :)

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  106. Always be there for them because when they do want to talk its like a dam bursting! If they are in sulky mode just carry on as if nothing is happening and try to be normal. Don't lose your temper and above all be patient. Scream and rant as much as you like when they are not around. Oh and don't bend the rules at any time. Give them an inch and they'll take a mile.

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  107. Pick your battles....raise them right, teach them to respect themselves and others. Good luck. Thanks for the great give-a-way.

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  108. Give detailed instructions when you want something done properly <3 good luck :-)

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  109. I have two teens. I think one of the most important things we can do is really listen to them. Thru their anger, tantrums, huffing and eye rolling. They really want to be heard, their thoughts, feelings and ideas. I talk with my kids all the time, and try hard to really listen to what it is they are saying...sometimes it's so hard to just get it out without all the drama :)

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  110. I don't have kids, only cats. I was one of seven kids, six of us girls! My advice would be to let them have some say in their individuality - regarding hair or the way they want to dress. There are other things more important to worry about. (Can I tell you about the time my mom had her cousin ruin my perm so I would have to get my hair cut short??? Stuff like that sticks with you forever.) Thanks for the Terrain give away!

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  111. I don't have kids -- but I think if you hold your ground and enforce rules then you will win the respect of your child for a lot longer. =)

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  112. Just love your children and be with them as much as you can. That´s all I can say!
    Gun, Sweden
    gun@lapp.se

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  113. Love them! And remember that even if they're as cute as a bee they could try and trick you.

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  114. Hmmm give them opportunities to discovery their own self worth.
    Thank you for the chance to win :)

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  115. With any child no matter the age set boundaries, choose your battles, and LISTEN to them and most of all LOVE them.
    Thanks for the chance to win.

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  116. I'll be reading these closely, my daughter is turning 11. We try to teach her the value of herself, and of being truthful and trustworthy.

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  117. we found that being firm and standing by the rules of the house were good for the kids, the lines where already drawn and they felt relief that they could blame us for house rules.
    Congrats on being a new wife and stepmother
    I love the quote in your sewing room

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  118. Smile and remember "this too shall pass". They grow up too quickly. Thank you!

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  119. If you have more than one child than be consistent in your rules, as an oldest child nothing annoyed me as much my younger sibling getting to do things earlier or whatnot than I did. My curfew at 10PM, was increased to 11PM for my younger sister, and then Midnight for my brother. I would have been grounded for weeks if I had come home at midnight. Thank you for the lovely giveaway. kcarlson1152[at]hotmail.com

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  120. My best advice (after raising five) is be careful what battles you pick. Some just are not worth the effort. And remember...it doesn't last forever!

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  121. I have three grown sons and my advise is to listen ,really listen when they want to tell you something and be there for them when they need you . It isn't nearly as scary as you may think , it can be a very fun time. Enjoy. Thanks for the chance at your great giveaway.

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  122. Great giveaway! I think when I was that age, I still enjoyed having my parents involved with me, so keep checking in (I'm sure you will!) :) Good luck - we have a few years yet until that milestone.

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  123. Great prizes. Thanks for the chance to win. I have a 21 year old and my advice is to be their mother and not their friend.

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  124. Keep the lines of communication open. We've been down this road three times, and it's not easy. But if you can keep talking, even if they don't seem to be listening, it will all come through in the end. Thanks for the great giveaway :-)

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  125. Ah teens - be kind, understanding, and forgiving . . . in a few years they will grow up and give you grandchildren! And that is the best thing ever.

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  126. Thanks for the great giveaway. As no children, will comment on teenagers from the perspective of my sister's boys and brother's girls. They made it out of childhood into young married adulthood and I think they turned out to be good parents themselves. 1.they made sure that the kids would always feel comfortable having their friends at the house. 2.they knew where their children were going and with whom. 3.there were responsibilities at home (a.k.a. chores) and outside "safe" jobs to earn money. 4. their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. were also involved in the kid's lives. 5.family fun time and fun projects PLUS time spent actually listening to the kids when they talked to them 6.church and church activities, school and school activities.

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  127. Wonderful fabric and thank you!

    I agree with Beth - the teen years can be tough because they keep you guessing. I remember one day remembering OMG no one told me it would be like this and then the next day my daughter would wake up and be the same sweet girl and then after about a couple of months, the cycle would start all over. So for advice - I always treated my daughters with respect, didn't boss them, gave them as much leniency as they deserved, but if they cross that line, they knew there would be problems and they never crossed it. If they did mess up a little, we forgave them, talked bout it and moved on. They are both wonderful young women, very kind and yes I am a grandma of a beautiful 15 month old grandson and that is the time in the world!!!

    sandyb720 at gmail dot com

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  128. My advice would be to read, "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so they will talk." It has excellent advice for communication with children of all ages. I think keeping the lines of communication open is the most important thing. Good luck!

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  129. Wonderful giveway!!! Thanks for the chance to win!! I don't have kids, but I have neices and nephews. We listen to them, and when they are with us, I follow my Mom's rules she had for
    us. When I was a teenager, my mom made sure that all the kids in the neighborhood wanted to hang around our house. She organized volleyball, baseball games. (She played too). She was
    a great cook, with lots of treats, lemonaid, tea, etc. Before
    I could drive, she would pile a bunch of my friends in the back
    of our convertible and take us to the malt shop, letting us
    walk home. She said she did all of this, because she always
    knew where we were, and didn't have to worry abour us.

    wigglypup2@yahoo.com

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  130. Take time to listen. Thanks for the giveaway.

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  131. My kids aren't anywhere the teen years yet. But my advice would be, keep the lines of communication open and talk and listen to your kids and make sure they can come to you no matter what. Hopefully that will work for me once my kids are teens... Thanks for a chance to win your great giveaway! :)

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  132. I would say that take time to be with your teenagers- and pick the spots that are your absolutes. And your mother probably said that there would be days like this -- sometimes they will seem very long. Our son is now grown and lives far away- I miss those days where we laughed together - the phone just isn't the same.
    I love Kate Spain and have some strips of this line - what fun one could have if I had fat quarters too :O) Thanks for participating in the blog hop.
    Regards from Western Canada,
    Anna

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  133. What a wonderful hubby! My DH is usually supportive also--though the release of FMF and some other DS splurges this month may be the ultimate test! LOL

    I just love the colors in the selection you are giving away! AS for teenagers---I think I would have to say, pick your battles. Kind of prioritize and see which things really need to be addressed. Even as I am writing this---I thought of something else--now mind you, I don't have any children of my own---and as a teacher, the highest grade I taught was 5th..but I think this applies to all....DON'T be their friends! They need you to be the parents. (though they may not think that at this time...) Just stay strong and in charge. It will pay off big time in the end! :)

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  134. Oh gosh, I feel for you. When my husband and I met in 2000 and then married in 2002 between us we had four boys. His son moved in with us a few months after our wedding and then we had four teenaged boys between the ages of 14 and 18. OH JOY! NOT! LOL The biggest piece of advice I can give is to follow the old saying, 'Say what you mean and mean what you say'! AND FOLLOW THROUGH! If you threaten a punishment, and they push you to the point it must be given then DO IT! DO NOT back down or you will never be taken seriously. They will push you every single time after that once they realize pushing that line works. Good luck with all those teens. You will live through it though; plenty of us have; without twitches that are too noticeable even. lol

    Thank you for the wonderful giveway. I absolutely LOVE Kate Spain's fabrics. She's not released one yet that I haven't wanted.

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  135. My sons are 43 and 42 but I remember the teen years like yesterday. Always remember and never forget they are children no matter the age and you are the mom forever. You have to be constantly aware of what they are doing, where they are and have been and who they are hanging with. I wish I knew as much back then as I know now, so many things would have been different. I raised my oldest son and the youngest lived with his father and grandparents (biggest mistake in the world on my part) I was not able to keep track of what was going on and he didn't turn out so good but he is now trying very hard. The oldest, he was gong on 40 when he was 13, I'll swear he raised himself with the help of God. He kept his faith, minded his mother and stayed on the straight and narrow. both good kids but so different in their ways. You are the mom, remain strong and don't give in. If they are grounded they stay grounded. If you don't carry through why should they? Stand fast and don't give in.

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  136. I don't have kids but I am a family systems therapist. What I tell parents is to pick your battles. If its not going to affect health or safety is it really worth getting worked up over? Probably not! Also, talk to them, not at them.

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  137. What a wonderful giveaway! I don't really have any tips other than be understanding of them and remember how it was for you.

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  138. The best advice I can give is "Don't sweat the small stuff." You'll have some battles so choose carefully what is negoitable and what is not. Otherwise, love and enjoy them, the teenage years are such fun. You can actually have conversations. Love the fabric. Thanks.

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  139. Oh my word. My boys are 21, 19 and 18. Thank the Lord all of them are on their own! My best advice is remember that this too shall pass! No matter how bad the hassles, the drama and the stress, it won't be around forever. I'm looking forward to the day I can enjoy hanging out with my kids again. Right now, there's still so much tension, what with them trying to prove to us how "grown up" they are and what good decision makers they are and us trying to prove to them that no matter how dumb their decisions we still love them, that it's really not much fun to hang out with them for too long a time. My dad tells me they'll grow out of it about the time they turn 25. I'm hanging on to that as a promise! lol

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  140. Thanks for the chance to win! As for your question, only one of my kids has reached double digits and whew he is a HANDFUL to say the least...I try to keep him AS BUSY AS POSSIBLE so he can stay out of trouble!!

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  141. Don't we all just love to be asked our advice? I have a 9-yr-old and I always try to let her make her own mistakes. She is like me that she has to do it to learn it. So, I let her get hurt or embarrassed and then tell her "That wasn't such a good idea, was it?"

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  142. Keep the lines of communication open, no matter how hard they try to shut them down. And continue to hug them even though if they shrug you off.

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  143. Be the house where they hang out, so you get to know their friends and gain an understanding of their social circle. That way you will know right away if they are straying--if every joke is about drug use, for example, or if one of their friends seems to be going off the rails--rather than just getting the edited version when they come home from somewhere else. Plus, it might allow you to instill some of your own family's values in their friends or at least remind them of why your rules are what they are.

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  144. My son is two years old so I many not have words of wisdom, infact I will scroll through all the comments to get some advice for my self ;-). thanks for a great giveaway.

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  145. I'd suggest surrounding your children with family, grandparents, and wise adults versus peers who will influence them away from you and the values that you're trying to teach them. As busy as life gets, always have a family sit-down meal together each evening where your children can see a loving family and talk about their day so they will feel accepted and included in the family. Pray for them and with them. Make special one-on-one times with each of them. Oooh, such a special time to be a parent in their lives...I wish you the very best!

    Oh, and I'd LOVE to win the Kate Spain fabrics...she's my favorite designer, and I don't have those fabrics!!!

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  146. I made it through raising 3 teenage girls-- and I certainly made my fair share of mistakes, but they are all wonderful adults now- and I am very proud of each one! :-) I think that one of the most important things when dealing with teens is to try to keep the lines of communication open.. And, as hard as it is, to let them make their own mistakes.. and also to make sure that they know that they can come to you for advice about anything...

    Thank you for the chance to win -- love the book! And the fabrics are beautiful!! :-)

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  147. I only have 1 more teen here at home and with mine, I would remind myself that I only had a little bit of time left with them at home and to enjoy whatever I could. ALso, take rides together, they will often talk to you from the backseat or next to you and can open up because you are looking at the road and not at them.

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  148. I raised 2 boys. The MOST IMPORTANT THING to remember when dealing with teenage or pre-teen kids is to keep them BUSY. If not involved in sports, they need to be involved church group, small jobs or other things. Before they are driving, it may wear you out but they do better when they are active.
    What a wonderful supportive husband.

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  149. Don't sweat the small stuff. Only focus on the important stuff and let them figure out the small stuff. They have to learn to grow some way. Very generous giveaway.

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  150. Thank you for the chance to win. My advise is that when the going gets tough just love them more.

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  151. My advice is to be available with listening ears, try not to judge, provide options to solving a problem (that is if they ask). Thanks for a chance at your giveaway.

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  152. Thanks so much for a delightful giveaway! My advice: Hubby and I have told our children "You'll never get in trouble with me if you just tell the truth. I can't protect you if you lie." There have been times when the kids should've been punished, but because they told the truth, they were shown mercy - but gosh, when they don't tell the truth... they understand the concept of choices and consequences. The kids talk to us... we're blessed!

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  153. I am lucky enough to have a husband that supports me totally - all I have to say is wouldn't this ot that be cool to have and he gets it. He stood in the fabric line at Hobby Lobby with me the other day for 30 minutes.

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  154. i always said "don't sweat the small stuff". It worked for me.
    Thanks for the giveaway.

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  155. The most important thing in my mind is remember to listen. Sometimes, or a lot of times, they just need to vent and know you care.

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  156. Hi Kristen! :) I'm your newest follower. My son is five so I'm still in the "dreading the teenage years" stage.. and completely in the dark about how to handle it. Although, being a teenager once, I would say try your best to make them think that what YOU want them to do is THEIR idea. lol Thanks for offering to share part of your stash with the winner!
    xo
    Kelli

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  157. I'd say you need to remember that they are going to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. Hovering too much can lead to a lack of independence so loosen the leash every now and then, even if just letting them out of the house is a scary thought.

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  158. I used to work with teenagers and whilst training to do my administrator job we were told to come down to their level to talk to them, if they feel anxious, stressed or worked up, if you sit down to talk to them, they are generally taken aback and communicate more freely. It has actually worked for me and for others. Great giveaway, thanks for a chance to win. :)

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  159. Thanks for the giveaway. As with all children and adults, the best advice is just one word :patience!!

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  160. Thanks for the opportunity. Love the fabric. As for the kids, you will survive. It does feel like you are manuvering thru a minefield at times when dealing with teen age hormones, but it does pass and eventually you will laugh about it (or some of it anyway...)

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  161. Always remember to say sorry if you were wrong.
    And don't yell. Talk.

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  162. Pray and pray some more. I'll pray for ya too. Remember you were there once yourself.

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  163. Consistency and patience according to my mother! My children are still young (4 and 2) but I try to stick to those principles and imagine they'd be needed even more for teenage years!

    Thanks for a fun giveaway! Love your mosaic of projects - going to have a look at some of them now! :)

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  164. Well I'm way past teenage years, but my greatest fear for them now days is that they think they can text and drive at the same time. Way scary. Your hubby has great taste in fabric. Love them all.

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  165. Children will test boundaries and as they get older those boundaries get scarier for the adults who love them. Give them the skills to cope with the challenges, be there to catch them when they fall and try to remember that they will come out the other end as genuinely nice people is you continue to love them. Also boarding school is always an option!!! :)

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  166. Keep your cool at all times! set boundaries and stick to them! dont deviate.

    mystica123athotmaildotcom

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  167. I have found the biggest thing is to be a good listener. Sometimes they just need to talk things out. This is always fun over a plate of cookies!

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  168. Enjoy.....enjoy......enjoy.....I've never been on your blog ....I like it....

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  169. If you can be home when they are home it makes a huge difference. Not always possible I know.

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  170. Thanks! My oldest is a teen, my other two are well on their way, but I can't claim expert status by any means. The biggest thing I learned from my parents (and its working so far for me) is trust and respect. When they come to us, we listen all the way through first, whether it is about something they've heard, something they want to do or whatever. Then we listen some more. The kids feel like they get what they need and we build trust and openness as they come to us. Even those awkward conversations (you know the ones ...) aren't so awkward because trust and respect have been built and reinforced so many times before. Good luck!

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  171. I love fat quarters--what a great prize.

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  172. it is important to listen about questions in order to advice them, let kids free to feel themselves free. hugs

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  173. I don't have kids yet but I think it is important that your kids know you are there for them, that they know they can count on you is one of the most important thing !

    Thanks for the giveaway ! I love Kate Spain !

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  174. The best idea I have heard about teenagers was from a Dad who was tired of door slamming, messy rooms, back talking, and eternally hiding out in the bedroom ... He took the teenager's bedroom door off!
    Thanks for the chance to win and good luck with your teens!

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  175. Hi. Your question is definitely a hard one, but I am raising my grandson who is 17 years old now. The best advice I can give is just to be there for them when they need to talk and to listen to what they have to say.
    I love those fabrics. Thank you for sharing with us! Great giveaway.

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  176. P.S. I forget to tell you that I love the quilts with the elephants on them. They are sooo cute!!

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  177. Humph, I'm in my early 20s right now and this is quite a difficult question. I guess it depends on the kid's personalities but I would say to be "quick to listen, slow to speak". The worst thing you can do is to accuse. And to just spend time with them.

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  178. I'm sure others have said this, but "pick your battles". Stand firm on what you believe is most important, and give a little in other areas (such as, a messy room is not the end of the world - just shut the door). Good luck - the teens are a fabulous & challenging time! Thanks for the chance to win!

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  179. Mine will be in his teens in 3 years and I am so reading over these comments as well. I think you treat them with respect if they earn it.

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  180. Great prize...I LOVE Kate Spain. I think if you try to remember that you're raising grown-ups (in the sense that they'll be grown-ups someday!) it'll help to steer you and them in the right direction.

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  181. HELLO! REMEMBER YOU ARE THE PARENT AND THE ONE IN CHARGE,NO MATTER HOW MUCH WHINING AND CRYING TAKE PLACE! ANOTHER THOUGHT: THEY MAY ACT LIKE THEY DISLIKE YOUR RULES,BUT WHEN THEY'RE GROWN THEY WILL THANK YOU OVER AND OVER! ALL THE BEST ♥

    THANK YOU FOR A SWEET GIVEAWAY!
    msstitcher1214@yahoo.com

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  182. I agree with Linda! And insist on family time interaction--no hibernating in their room all day and be sure you know who their friends are, what they watch on TV and the computer. They need to know you are interested in their lives and care.

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  183. Step-parenting hugely complicates family issues. Talk with your husband ALOT about how to handle each child and don't hesitate to contact a family counselor to help sort things out. I don't envy you.

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  184. What a great giveaway! As a high school teacher, I would advise that you stay involved...meet the teachers, know their friends etc. And when you say no, stick to it!! Tantrums don't last forever ;-)

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  185. Great question! And lots of great comments, some had me falling off my chair laughing! So true! Having raised 3 kids in a blended family, I would say an important thing to remember is "family" and whatever that means to you, live it and love it with all your heart, mind and soul.
    Thanks for the giveaway and time to reflect, enjoy your comments! I'll probably come back to read them!

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  186. I would say be supportive and open with your kids. In my relationship with my mother I always knew that I could talk to her. Even if she didn't like what I had to say I knew she would listen and help any way she could. When I found out that I could talk to her about anything it made life a lot easier to handle for me.

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  187. This is just part of growing up, and you need to not give in, don't get furious and take a deep breath. Thanks for the great giveaway.

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  188. I think they need almost as much supervision as they did when they were toddlers...there's so much crap to protect them from. Discipline with LOVE!

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  189. I'm a mom to two boys, one now 25 and my younger is 17.... my advice is to pick and choose your battles. My boys and I had the best conversations while we drove to and from school, when no other buddies were in the car, otherwise it's not cool to actually talk with mom. lol

    Happy quilting,
    Cindy

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  190. I think the best piece of advice is to be consistent. And don't set a punishment in anger.

    Thanks for a chance at your generous give a way.

    jleibfried@aol.com

    and ps. Congrat's on your marriage.

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  191. I'm a new follower! I have six children, my oldest just graduated last year, and my second oldest is going to be 16 this year. I don't know how this goes with boys, because my two boys are still small, but with girls the very most important thing to remember is to talk, talk, talk! I have learned, and am still learning, that if you can keep an open dialog with your kids, as they start getting older they'll keep talking. And the best way to head off trouble is to hear about it from them! I'm sure boys would be the same, but we haven't gotten there with them yet! It's exhausting sometimes, but my husband and I have stayed up many, many late nights talking to my oldest daughter before she left for college, (we still talk to her tons, even though she's not home) and we now spend lots of time around the table after dinner (sometimes hours)talking to our two oldest girls at home (15 and 13) while our little ones go off and play, or sitting on our bed at night with them...in fact anywhere and anytime that we can. I feel like that's the most important thing for our family. To listen, to be understanding, to love them, and have TIME for them. To show them that they're important! With all the junk they deal with out there in the world, they just need a place where they can feel comfortable and be accepted...a haven!
    Thanks for the wonderful giveaway and good luck with your new husband and family! (and sorry for the huge comment)

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  192. Great fabric. Thanks for the giveaway. I don't have kids so can't give you any advice.

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  193. Thanks for a great giveaway. I have two young boys (almost 7 and 3 1/2) - but I hope that I remember to trust them sometimes and let them make mistakes so they can learn from them...I'm a little type A so I hope I can let go a little and do that.

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  194. Thanks for the giveaway. The most imporant thing for me to do with my kids is to ask question about thier day and really listen to the answers.

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  195. I always told my teenagers "don't do anything you don't want to be seen on tv for doing"
    Love the fabric.

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  196. great giveaway thank you angchappell@yahoo.com

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  197. Hi Kristen,
    I´m glad that you found my blog, and now I´m a happy follower here too ☺
    My kids know that I´m there whenever they want to talk, and trust is important.
    Thanks for chance to win!
    Liebe Grüße
    Bente

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  198. I am sure that you have gotten a ton of answers and they are all different because what works for one kid may not work for another. But the most important thing that I have found is to let them know that you will always listen and love them no matter what, unconditionally. Sometimes all they want is to talk, other times they want advice, but either way, they don't want to be judged. Wow, I am a bit long winded.

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  199. Hi. What a generous giveaway. Your quilts are beautiful. My two children are 29 and 33 this year and I loved raising them. In their teenage years, they need your encouragement - sometimes from afar. What I learned is that they don't want you to solve their problems, mostly they just want a supportive, listening ear so that they can work their challenges out on their own. This doesn't mean that you will always appreciate their choices or that you have to agree with them. But, be there when they want to talk and don't be quick to give them advice - alot of time if you just quietly listen, without much comment - they will come to a good place all on their own. Hope this helps. Thanks for participating in the blog hop. I'm having so much fun!

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